Sexy Salami Sandwich

When I was in eighth grade, I conducted an science experiment testing the ability of taste buds to differentiate between various flavors. Even at a young age, I was fascinated with the function and capacity of taste buds. I made a sandwich today that reminded me of these tiny taste receptors, in how they felt honored to eat the sandwich thrown together by the leftovers contained in my fridge.

Sexy Salami Sandwich

- Best Mayo Ever

- spinach/sliced strawberries/sliced mushrooms/garlic and herb goat cheese crumbles salad**

- 2 slices of bread

- Salami circles (about 4-5)

- grated swiss cheese

**The spinach/strawberries/mushrooms and goat cheese were combined and left over from dinner last night.

1. Spread Chipotle mayo on both slices of bread.

2. Place 4-5 circles of salami on one slice.

3. Sprinkle grated swiss cheese on top of the salami circles.

4. Toast both slices of bread (open-face) in a toaster oven.

5. Layer the greens (salad) on top of the salami and cheese and place the other slice of bread on top.

After finishing this salad, I didn't want to eat anything else to compromise the flavors I was tasting in my mouth.

Dear taste buds,

You're welcome.

Pineapple Banana Bread with Toasted Coconut

I am not a huge bread baker, despite my love of all things bread. I guess it's the exact measurements required or the fact that I can't taste things as I go that intimidates me.

This week, I challenged myself to recreate one of my favorite breads of all time -- banana bread. The cafeteria at my middle school was giving away a tub of bananas on the last day before spring break, so the materials were present and the time was ripe (as were the bananas -- overripe, in fact).

I found this basic recipe doing a search for the basic components of the banana bread.

Ingredients

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 3 eggs
• 1 1/4 cups vegetable oil
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 (8 ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained
• 2 cups mashed ripe bananas

Directions

1. In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, salt, baking soda and cinnamon. In another bowl, beat the eggs, oil and vanilla; add pineapple and bananas. Stir into the dry ingredients just until moistened. Pour into two greased 8-in. x 4-in. x 2-in. loaf pans.
2. Bake at 350 degrees F for 60-65 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks.

I added a few changes to put my own spin on it. One, I baked three mini-loaves in mason jars. I soaked old pasta sauce jars in boiling water, then scrubbed off the labels and dried off the jars. I poured in batter to fill the jars about half-way, then set them in the oven (without lids). In about 30 minutes, I checked on the jars and when the bread was fully baked, I pulled the jars out of the oven to seal the lids. Using oven mitts, I twisted the jar lids back on. The heat of the baked bread sealed the jar lids with a pop a few minutes later. The key was to make sure the jars were carefully cleaned before and after baking, leaving no extra batter along the sides of the jars.

Secondly, I used unsweetened shredded coconut to add another flavor the the bread. Five minutes before taking the jars out, I topped each jar with a handful of shredded coconut. When the coconut had browned, I removed the jars from the oven.

The only problem with these is resisting the temptation to eat the jar all at once. Prepare yourself.

Dinner Party Extraordinaire: Dessert

Dessert is a holy affair for me. No meal is complete without it. For the double-birthday, I pulled out an old favorite -- the chocolate trifle cups. I've cursed missing these since I forgot to bring any of them home. Note to self: set half aside for me, half for the guests.

Chocolate Trifle Cups

- brownie mix (and all it requires)

- instant pudding (one package)

- water (1/2 cup)

- whipped creme (30 oz. total)

- sugar (3 tbs)

- heavy cream (1/2 pint to 1 pint)

- bar of chocolate

- for individual cups, buy clear plastic cups

- additional garnishes, like strawberries, etc. are up to you

1. Bake brownies according to directions on the box. This is critical. Eat one for yourself, and cut the rest up into perfect squares.

2. Mix up the instant pudding with water. Mix in about 8 oz. of whipped cream into the pudding. Whisk 3 tbsps of sugar with 1/2 pint of heavy cream. Slowly pour in this mixture into the instant pudding and whisk all of it together, very well. Now learn to call this chocolate mousse.

3. Begin assembly. Layer the bottom of the cups with brownies. Then layer on top the chocolate mousse. Layer on top the whipped cream. Repeat once more.

4. Take a vegetable peeler to a full bar of chocolate and peel carefully on top of the top layer of whipped cream.

5. Step back and marvel at your creation.

** I had a particularly difficult time making things look pretty when trying to spoon the mousse and whipped cream onto the cups. I used Ziploc bags to save me. I poured the mousse into one, sealed the top shut, and cut one of the corner off to use as a pastry bag. Repeat for the whipped cream (thawed) and life was pretty simple. I did end up getting a lot of chocolate all over myself, but this is not something I perceive as a problem.

Dinner Party Extraordinaire: Entrees

Coming up on the main part of the dinner, I will mention everything I cooked, but special, doting, loving attention will be given to one of my most favorite things I've ever cooked: shredded chicken tacos. If I could buy enough chicken and chipotle seasoning, I would start a food truck, passing these out to all the miserable strangers I meet and helping spread sunshine across the world. What a wonderful life it would be.

Pizzas

(shout-out to my lovely students who inspired me to be more creative than I thought possible)

- TJ's pizza dough

- pizza or marinara sauce

- salami circles

- fresh basil

- mozzarella rounds

- Roma tomatoes

- Proscuitto

- Cornichons (mini-pickles)

- boiled eggs

Though the party saw only the advent of the basic pizzas (basil, mozzarella, tomato vs. salami, proscuitto, shredded mozzarella), my students and I had a bake off where they made some very interesting pizzas. My favorite was probably the Mickey Mouse pizza, which was shaped into everyone's favorite mouse head by use of numerous kitchen tools in non-traditional ways. It was then given true personality with sliced hard-boiled eggs for eyes and tiny sliced cornichons pieces for a mouth that resembled the coal mouths of snowmen. This was atop the marinara sauce, shredded mozzarella, salami circles and proscuitto. My student claimed it was delicious and ate every bite.

Sliders

- ground beef (1 lb.)

- Garlic and Herb goat cheese (1/3 to 1/2 cup)

- sun-dried tomatoes, chopped (1/4 to 1/3 cup)

- bread crumbs (1/2 cup)

- minced garlic (1 teaspoon / 1 clove)

1. Form mini burgers by mixing all the ingredients together creating patties that are just about 1/2 inch larger in diameter than the burger buns. They will shrink down cooking.

2. Cook in a skillet by browning each side, or grill it up like a grown-up.

3. Serve up on slider buns with only the delicious mayo described below.

Best Mayo of Your Life

- mayo (about 1/2 cup)

- chipotle spice (1.5 dashes)

- Adobo spice with pepper (about 1/2 a dash)

- paprika (1.5 dashes)

Mix together all ingredients. Whip. Enjoy. By the spoonful or on a burger, I don't judge.

Shredded Chicken Tacos

- boneless, skinless chicken breasts (1 lb.)

- chipotle seasoning (3 tsp.)

- ground cumin (1 tsp.)

- oregano (2 tsp.)

- minced garlic (2 tsp.)

- tomato sauce (16 oz.)

- white vinegar (2 tsp.)

- sugar (0.5 tsp.)

- Adobo seasoning with Pepper

1. Mix tomato sauce, chipotle, cumin, oregano, garlic, white vinegar, sugar, and a few dashes of Adobo. Cover.

2. Season both sides of chicken with Adobo, one dash on each side should suffice. Cook chicken on low-med in a skillet with olive oil.

3. When both sides have lightly browned, pour the tomato sauce mixture back into the pan. Wait until the mixture boils, then lower heat to a simmer and cover. The tomato sauce should begin to caramelize in about 15 minutes.

4. If you're afraid that the chicken will dry out, take it out of the skillet and shred it up with two forks (pulling it apart) then keep it on the side until the sauce caramelizes, then combine. If you chose to leave the chicken in the skillet, the last step is to shred the chicken.

5. Serve in tortillas, with mexican rice, black beans, and the garnishes your heart desires. Or wrap up in some tortillas, top off with more of the tomato mixture for a delicious faux enchilada.

Dinner Party Extraordinaire: Appetizers

Finger foods are very dangerous. Aside from attracting lots of hand interaction, there is also the inevitable risk that people will eat all the delicious finger foods without any record of how much they ate then be too full to eat anything else. I think the risk is worth the reward.

Spinach Artichoke Dip

- one frozen bag of spinach, thawed

- one frozen bag of artichokes / or one big can / there should be a little more artichoke than spinach

- 8 oz Classico Alfredo sauce (about half the jar)

- 1/2 cup mayo

- 1 cup shredded cheese (various ones have worked, swiss and mozzarella are good)

1. Chop up the (thawed) artichokes. Mix with the spinach, mayo, alfredo sauce and cheese in a oven-proof container.

2. Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes.

3. Serve up when the top is browned ... sourdough bread goes great with it.

Lil Smokies with Brown Sugar

- one package lil smokies (there's about 40 in each bag)

- one package bacon

- brown sugar

- skewers

1. Cut the strips of bacon into thirds.

2. Wrap each lil smokie with a sliced strip of bacon.

3. Place smokies on skewers.

4. With a cooking brush or by hand, coat each bacon-wrapped smokie in brown sugar.

5. Bake at 350 for 25 - 35 minutes on a foil lined cookie sheet. Make sure to turn over once during cooking so both sides of the bacon are perfect. You can broil towards the end if the other side of the bacon needs it.

**Because I did most of the prep work for this dinner the night before, I left these marinating in the brown sugar overnight. I then took the leftover brown sugar liquid at the bottom of the container and drizzled it on top of the smokies before they baked. I drizzled the final plate again with the leftover brown sugar from the oven. These were gone in about 2 minutes.

Cranberry Brie Bites

- Puff pastry cups

- cranberry sauce

- a healthy amount of brie (can you ever have too much?)

1. Bake the puff pastry cups according to directions on the box. (Mine were prebaked but about 4 mins in the oven got them extra crisp).

2. Spoon in bite-sizes of brie into each cup.

3. Top off with cranberry sauce.

4. Bake at 350 for about 5 minutes, or until the brie has melted.

Polenta Bites with Mozzarella and Proscuitto

- Polenta Rolls (TJ's)

- Marinara Sauce

- Shredded Mozzarella

- a few strips of Proscuitto

1. Cut the rolls of polenta into 1/2 inch circles. Each roll renders about 10 - 14 circles. Prepare by either baking or frying. I went with baking since I had time and it's healthier. Bake on a greased cookie sheet until the polenta is firm and crisp on one side (about 20 mins).

2. Flip over and cook the polenta on the other side until almost crisp.

3. Take it out and spoon on marinara sauce.

4. Sprinkle shredded mozzarella on each polenta circle.

5. Shred the strips of proscuitto and put one shredded piece on each polenta circle.

6. Put back in the oven to finish cooking -- cheese should be melted before these are served.

Dinner Party Extraordinaire: Special Edition Intro

I love dinner parties. To quote from Parks and Rec, "they combine two of [my] favorite things: dinner and parties." Unlike other young adults in their early twenties, my dinner parties are not a recently discovered interest and have proven not to be a passing fad.

From the shoddily thrown together dinner my suitemates and I pulled together in the basement of our too-old dorm my freshman year to the sophomore year Valentine's Day party that resulted in handmade truffles to the senior year decision to buy a serious dining table and serious chairs for my seriously evolved dinner parties, I have been obsessed with this concept for a while. So naturally, when I realized it was Joe's last birthday in DC (at least for right now), I wanted some sort of birthday party for him to celebrate all the people that mean lots and lots to him. And when I realized his co-teacher's birthday was the day after, the conditions were ripe for a true birthday dinner party^2.

On the menu:
- Spinach and Artichoke Dip
- Lil Smokies in Brown Sugar
- Cranberry Brie Bites
- Polenta Bites with Mozzarella and Proscuitto

- Taco Bar featuring Carnitas and Shredded Chicken
- Sliders
- Pizzas

- Chocolate Trifle Cups

I'll go over the recipes for all these fun pieces in three posts -- appetizers, entrees, and dessert.